Sim 3 S25

[Eberlicious]

For 3M

Tell us your best joke

 

[Panic!]

Xxplayerxx23

 

[Catdude]

A married couple are driving on the highway and get into an intense argument. The wife gets so angry at her husband that she reaches over and cuts his dick off, rolls the window down and tosses it out the window.

Driving behind the couple is a mother and her very young son. The severed dick slams into their windshield. The young son yells "mommy! what was that?!" A bit embarrassed and unsure of what to say, the mother says "oh it was just a bug." The young son looks at his mom and says "wow that bug had a huge dick."

 

[Xxplayerxx23]

Xxplayerxx23

You’re not claiming for that.

 

[GB]

I went to bed with a blind girl last night, and she said I had the biggest dick she'd ever laid her hands on

I said "You're pulling my leg"

 

[BeatsHaveADream]

Why do cows have hooves and not feet?

Because they lactose

 

[SoftLettuce]

All my life growing up my parents and siblings always told me I could be a stand up comedian. But honestly bro I'd just rather sit down.

 

[The Godfather]

What does a storm cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear

 

[Kings]

The Charlotte Hornets

 

[NCツ]

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet

SUPPLIES

 

[Hooper]

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungie cord?

My ass

 

[Xxplayerxx23]

These jokes are awful lol

 

[Username]

A married couple are driving on the highway and get into an intense argument. The wife gets so angry at her husband that she reaches over and cuts his dick off, rolls the window down and tosses it out the window.

Driving behind the couple is a mother and her very young son. The severed dick slams into their windshield. The young son yells "mommy! what was that?!" A bit embarrassed and unsure of what to say, the mother says "oh it was just a bug." The young son looks at his mom and says "wow that bug had a huge dick."

lolll

 

[Username]

My life

 

[Donkey]

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they just beat the room for being black

 

[Panic!]

What do you call a sad priest?

- Depriest

 

[Cloud]

Marko Guduric’s pot

 

[AiRuPtHeRe™]

Why did the old man fall into the well?


- Because he couldn't see that well.

 

[notail]

Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason

 

[Xxplayerxx23]

Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?" Because every play has a cast.

 

[yrtb]

The giants offensive line

 

[brooks]

Marko Guduric’s pot

Lolololololololololol

 

[brooks]

A lady is walking home with her three daughters.

The oldest daughter turns to her and asks, "Mom, how did I get my name?"

"Well sweetie, when we were bringing you home from the hospital, a rose petal landed on your head! So that's why we named you Rose.”

The second daughter, now curious, asks the same question.

"Well honey, when we were bringing you home from the hospital, a lily petal landed on your head! So that's why we named you Lily."

The third girl asks "HHHGGHHGGHH?!?!?! DDDNBDHGNGGD!!!"

"Oh for fucks sake, not now Cinderblock!”

 

[LukaSZN]

There’s a biblical flood warning, people are asked to evacuate the area, but Jim is a devout believer and decides to stay and wait out the storm

Water is rising rapidly and has reached Jim’s knees. Friends float by his place on a raft and offer him rescue but he says, “Don’t worry, God will save me.”

The water rises above Jim’s waist and a boat comes by, “Hop in, mate,” They say but Jim waves them off believing God will save him.

The water has reached Jim’s chin and he’s starting to tread water. Another boat comes by and they try to take Jim aboard but he tells them no and that God will save him.

Jim dies and goes to heaven. He find God and says, “The fuck God, I was a devout servant and believed you’d save me!”

God replies, “Jim you moron, I sent you three boats and you didn’t get on one of them.”